Shit and Shine

British-American noise terrorists Shit & Shine became an underground sensation for their deafening, single-track, single-riff, live performances employing up to fifteen drummers simultaneously bludgeoning their kits in raptures of monotonous rhythm. Below is a prime example of their hypnotic noise-art, a 5-minute excerpt of their show at Corsica Studios, London in May 2008.

Title: You're Lucky to Have Friends Like Us

Label: Riot Season

Release date: April 5th 2004

Recording date: ?

Tracklist: 1. The Trees Shall Mourn 1:26 2. Don't Look at Me Don't Leave Me 1:17 3. Recommencons 2:23 4. Spider 1:43 5. L'oubli 2:34 6. Tavern Snacks 1:43 7. Bridge of the Nose Nape of the Neck 6:26 8. I Could Make You Be a Woman 3:51 9. Calling Them In 0:56 10. A to Z of Boy Singers 3:04 11. Maybe I'm Right Maybe I'm Wrong 1:07 12. Fishermans Jumper 3:23 13. Witte Kat 2:04 14. Liberty Wallpaper 3:08 15. Life Like a Life 1:38

Their debut, You're Lucky to Have Friends Like Us, is one uncompromising mess of an album, which defines the band's aesthetic. This incoherent batch of sonic debris can hardly be called music, and none of these fifteen tracks really come close to resembling actual songs (not even half exceeding two minutes in length, and only one being longer than four minutes). Basically, they sound like a huge pile of nuclear waste radiating its ugly static in all musical directions, creating a very noisy and distorted mishmash of found sounds, demented vocal samples, and bizarre humour played over a deconstruction of various musical genres, from French chansons to boogie, and from metal to disco. No matter how unlistenable one might like to call this, it is nevertheless an impressive manifesto of non-music, like supermarket muzak gone through a meat grinder, making it too loud not to listen to. And believe it or not: it grows on you!

7.0/10

Title: Ladybird

Label: Latitudes

Release date: August 22nd 2005

Recording date: November 27th 2004

Tracklist: 1. Ladybird 41:43

Their sophomore album, Ladybird, showed the band adopting a completely different approach: the short, messy tracks of their debut were replaced by a single 42-minute monster track. All of a sudden, the band was actually making music: terrifying music. As the album insert states: "4 drummers + 2 bassists + 1 toy keyboard = 1 riff × 42 minutes = evil fun!". The album is a steaming cesspool of incessantly pounding motorik drums, a single heavily distorted bass riff, and demonic vocals, appropriately topped off by a raging torrent of radio static and white noise. It is a horrifying, extremely psychedelic fusion of minimalism, stoner-rock, and doom-metal. It is the stream of consciousness of a psychopath on a bad trip. It is the musical equivalent of a volcano on the verge of eruption, boiling hot magma on a disc. It is evil disguised as sound. It is quite simply awe-inspiring, and probably one of the greatest albums of the decade.

9.5/10

Shit and Shine - "Ladybird" (Sorry for the bad quality)

Title: Jealous of Shit and Shine

Label: Riot Season

Release date: October 23rd 2006

Recording date: ?

Tracklist: 1. Here Come the Vikings 2:03 2. When Extreme Dogs Go Wrong 5:13 3. Unchained Ladies Shopper 3:18 4. No Darling, Its a Pentagram 4:18 5. There Are 2 Bakers Now 7:20 6. Practicing to Be a Doctor 30:33 7. Hot Vodka 2:44 8. Kitten Mask 4:26 9. Seeing Life Through a Young Mans Eyes 1:37

Jealous of Shit and Shine is a fusion of the band's first two albums. Besides several noisy shorter tracks, it contains another jaw-dropping 30-minute juggernaut (an extended cover of the Strangulated Beatoffs' song "Practicing To Be a Doctor"). The noise tracks are longer than on their debut, ranging from two, up to seven minutes. "Here Come the Vikings" is pure aural anarchy, two minutes of brutal distorted mayhem. "When Extreme Dogs Go Wrong" features indiscernible vocal samples over a steady pile-driving rhythm. "No Darling, It's a Pentagram" contains ridiculous amounts of distortion, a statement supported by its death-metal screams being hardly noticeable, and well buried under the dense cloud of monster-fuzz. "Unchained Ladies Shopper" is as aimless a track as one could ever find, combining a thoroughly uneventful rhythm, meandering guitar picking, and mumbling vocal samples. Correction, "There Are 2 Bakers Now" is probably even more aimless. One cannot help but wonder what is going on in the twisted minds of these guys. I strongly urge Top 40 music enthusiasts to stay clear of this stuff. Then it's time for the aforementioned monster track, "Practicing To Be a Doctor". The riff is probably even more brutal and distorted than that of Ladybird, though undoubtedly less dark and sinister. It is another masterpiece of tribal fury and extreme riffage, a glorious celebration (or culmination) of twenty years of noise-rock. This is what they do best. "Kitten Mask" is their take on Nintendo-core, while "Hot Vodka" is another demented noise/voice-stomp. The comic ditty of "Seeing Life Through a Young Man's Eyes" is the album's playful coda, and the closest thing here to an actual song. [The limited 2CD initial pressing contains a CD-version of the out of print debut LP You're Lucky To Have Friends Like Us, including two (short) extra tracks].

7.8/10

Title: Toilet Door Tits/The Biggest Cock in Christendom

Label: Conspiracy

Release date: November 9th 2006

Recording date: ?

Tracklist:

1. Toilet door Tits 14:49 2. The Biggest Cock in Christendom 15:48

Toilet Door Tits/The Biggest Cock in Christendom contains two 15-minute tracks. Just like Jealous of Shit and Shine, "Toilet Door Tits" is a fusion of the band's first two albums, only this time the merger is achieved within one track, simultaneously applying deafening distortion, minimalistic riff repetition, noisy electronics, indiscernible vocals and pummeling drums. It is probably the quintessential Shit and Shine track. "The Biggest Cock in Christendom" is a much more relaxed affair, radiating a distorted but laid-back rhythmic ambience, never climaxing, simply abiding instead.

7.2/10

Title: Cunts with Roses

Label: Noisestar

Release date: May 4th 2007

Recording date: August 29th 2006

Tracklist: 1. Cunts with Roses 28:09

Cunts with Roses is a spectacular 28-minute live jam. Boasting exquisite, to-the-point cover art, it is one of their most primal excursions yet. Now if I am counting right, this track is in 6/4 and it simply repeats one single bar all-the-way through (apart from a slight guitar pause in the middle, probably just to give extra attention to the multi-drum madness, like in "Practicing To Be a Doctor"). It lacks any form of subtlety, and keeps pointing its middle finger straight at you from start to finish. Fully understanding the journalistic importance of remaining relatively objective and unbiased, I nevertheless feel I am not succeeding. All hail Shit and Shine!

8.5/10

Title: Cherry

Label: Riot Season

Release date: January 28th 2008

Recording date: ?

Tracklist: 1. Creepy Ballerina 1:08 2. Am I A Nice Guy ? 7:58 3. Honestly Don't 1:54 4. Danielle 1:44 5. Charm And Counter Charm 5:16 6. If You Knew Susie 1:12 7. Flower Petal Sword 2:11 8. Prize Winning 3:26 9. Sharlade 2:10 10. Cigarette Sequence 5:23 11. Cherry 5:02 12. Shockwave 1:18 13. High Brooms 14:52 14. The Rabbit Song 20:33

Cherry was a disappointing follow-up. Most of the tracks still qualify as non-music, but alas, they also qualify as non-interesting. "Am I a Nice Guy?" is quite an embarrassing rhythmic spoken word track, stretching out to an anti-climactic eight minutes. Tracks like"Danielle", "If You Knew Susie", "Flower Petal Sword", and "Prize Winning" inject nothing new into the formula. "Charm and Countercharm" is their languid, mutated take on disco and funk music. Fortunately the album is somewhat salvaged by the final tracks: "Cigarette Sequence" is a terrifying kammerspiel; "Cherry" evokes the Melvins with its slow, dark and morbid soundscape; the 14-minute "High Brooms" boasts an agonizing and distorted drone, and the 20-minute "The Rabbit Song" is a fairly decent yet quite disappointing continuation of the "Ladybird" tradition. This band is in desperate need of a renovation. [The CD version contains a 35-minute live DVD recorded at Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes, London]

5.3/10

Title: Küss Mich Meine Liebe

Label: Load

Release date: June 10th 2008

Recording date: ?

Tracklist: 1. Biggest Cock In The Christendom 15:47 2. Taking Robe Off 1:02 3. The Germans Call It A Swimming Head 4:39 4. The Side Of The Road 3:25 5. Mr. And Mrs. Gingerbread Hawaii 1:14 6. Toilet Door Tits 14:40 7. Preventions Arise 10:38 8. Küss Mich, Meine Liebe 5:16

Küss Mich Meine Liebe reissues "Toilet Door Tits" and "The Biggest Cock in Christendom", augmented by several typical noisy S&S creations (occasionally approaching Dillinger Escape Plan-ish sonic intensity), and the 10-minute ambient spoken word track "Preventions Arise". It is nice for fans, but a reissue of the Conspiracy album would have sufficed.

Title: 229 2299: Girls Against Shit

Label: Riot Season

Release date: August 3rd 2009

Recording date: ?

Tracklist: 1. Have You Really Thought About Your Presentation? 9:14 2. Penthouse Is A Must 3:21 3. 20 Years Of Caring For The Nations Eyes 4:14 4. USA/MEXICO 2:19 5. Yes 9 10! 3:18 6. The Cusp Of Innocence, Prettily 2:04 7. Girls Against Shit 10:15 8. Shit No! 2:40 9. Pissing On A Shed 2:17 10. Roberts Church Problems 11:24 11. I'm MAKING My LUNCH!! 1:43 12. Kolchak The Night Stalker 2:14 13. Hotel Denmark (You 3 Ass, Pussy, Blow) 4:56 14. Friseur Nelson 6:43 15. Kings Heath Shit & Shine Appreciation Society 4:47 16. People Like You...REALLY! 6:10 17. Goodbye And Good Gardening 1:48

229 2299: Girls Against Shit is highlighted by its four longest compositions: "Have You Really Thought About Your Presentation?" (a brutal piledriver of a track), "Girls Against Shit" (featuring the Practicing To Be a Doctor drum rhythm), "Roberts Church Problems" (probably the standout; the freshest, longest, loudest and most exhilarating track on the album) and "Friseur Nelson" (captivating rhythm and sinister mood). The other, shorter tracks are some of their loudest yet, though I doubt anyone will stilll believe me at the end of this article.

6.9/10

If any band could be associated with John Cage's motto "Anything can be music", Shit and Shine might well be the most deserving. They have successfully transferred the nihilistic aesthetics of the no-wave movement into the musical vocabulary of the 21st century.

Best albums:

1. Ladybird 9.5/10

2. Cunts with Roses 8.5/10

3. Jealous of Shit and Shine 7.8/10

4. Toilet Door Tits/The Biggest Cock in Christendom 7.2/10
5. You're Lucky To Have Friends Like Us 7.0/10

Reactions are always very welcome!